Hi, I'm Jace, and I'm a sex addict. I’ve spent most of my life living a double life. Being two people at once isn’t easy, and it comes at a very high cost. I destroyed my life so many times, that I finally decided to end it. I could no longer handle being around people, I hated myself, and I was tired of trying to fix what was wrong with me. I had spent my whole adult life reading self help books, doing trial and error experiments to get better and seeing multiple therapists. Nothing helped or made any sense. Almost everyone from my hometown had asked that I not contact them anymore. I was destructive. I was a bad friend. I was selfish. I was a mess. The idea for suicide didn’t come from a place of dramatic depression. It really just seemed like the next best step. I was miserable; I made those around me miserable, and the only people who liked me didn’t know me at all. I just couldn’t go on doing it anymore. I wanted to turn to the escape I had used so many times in the past, but I couldn’t do it. The urge to evade the pain I was feeling was so overpowering that I began to wonder. If sex releases chemicals in the brain similar to that of drugs, could it be just as damaging? This question prompted me to do a little research before making the big final decision. What I quickly found was my story written a hundred different ways and the pain I'd known spelled out right there on the page.
Like a flash of light in a dark room, my world was illuminated. I read deeper and discovered I was definitely not alone and that there was a solution.
I joined a recovery program that week, and for the first time in my whole life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I was home. I'd be lying if I said I turned my life around right then and there. I did not. I had to plummet back to the bottom once more before it all sunk in. Once it finally did, I was horrified with the life I had been leading. A life of destruction, danger and, worst of all, ignorance. I had little to no understanding of being sexually safe and healthy. I had no idea of which thoughts in my head belonged to me and which were those of a poisoned mind. I had no ability to function in relationships in a healthy way. I was a blank, and very confused, slate.
I am now on a journey to find the answers to every question I didn't even know to ask. This site will act as headquarters for this quest into the great big world of human sexuality and relationships. I invite you to join me on this adventure!
In recovery we say, "Take what you need and leave the rest." I hope everyone can follow that mentality when using this site.